I’ve noticed a pattern within myself and others. It’s the idea that we have a certain obligation we have to live, even when that obligation is no longer serving us.

I’m not talking about giving up the easy way or never finishing what you’ve started. I’m talking about when you have patterns of thought in your mind that are stopping you from growing and evolving and keeping you stuck in the past because you have created an idea that you are obligated to do things a certain way.

I remember when I was married, I had this idea in my mind that getting a divorce was just not an option, no matter how much the marriage was no longer serving me. It was like a locked belief that it had to be a certain way and I had to make it work. This may have come from my parents who stayed together despite major dysfunction between them. But how it got there is of less importance in this case, the more important thing to think about is; is what I believe about this situation serving me?

When it comes to living your life, you are the only one who knows if the way you’re living it is serving you or not. And if it’s not, it may be time to think about things differently. To break out of old molds, roles and from living from a place of obligation.

I recently had a conversation with someone who was not living the way he really wants to. When I asked about it, it was clear that it was a feeling of obligation to live a certain way. It’s like you’ve taken on a role, and you need to live that role even if it’s not who you are anymore, or if it’s stopping you from moving forward and having what you want.

In essence, it’s often putting other people’s lives first, at the cost of living your own. Do you ever do that?

You didn’t come here to live someone else’s life. You came here to live your own. And the challenges you face are not meant to keep you stuck in misery, they are there to teach you something your soul needs to learn.

The thing is, you are an evolving soul, and your longing for something means you are meant to have, be or do that thing you long for. Being stuck in patterns of beliefs or feeling you need to fill a certain role or obligation may keep your soul from evolving because you will use that obligation as an excuse to stay stuck, not face your fears and continue life in status quo.

It may sound harsh, but I see it all the time. In order to create freedom, we need to be free in our minds. And living from a place of obligation is not being free. Feeling that you are living a role that is no longer serving you, but still staying in that role is self-sabotage. It will keep you staying stuck and keeps you in a place of being a victim to circumstances.

A lot of times other people will also make sure you stay in your current role and use obligation as a way to control you and your behavior. These are often people close to you, such as parents or spouses. They may say; you cannot leave your job, your spouse, etc. But the truth is, you can do whatever the freak you want, you may just tell yourself you can’t.

There is no right or wrong way to live life, but there is a way that will make you feel more free, and that’s when you realize that the thought structures and rules you’ve made for yourself are not serving you – and as a result you decide to do something about them.

There is so much guilt and shame in the society, and some people may go great lengths to try to shame you for following your dream. But shaming is never done from a place of love. It usually stems from a way to control you into doing what they want you to do, rather than what’s in your best interest.

Only you know what’s right for you and nobody has the authority to control your life. You are the master of your castle.

But if you give into shame or guilt other people place on you, if you’re living an outdated role of who you are, or if you’re living your life the way you do just because you feel obligated, you may need to ask yourself why you are choosing to live like this. How is this ultimately serving you?

Maybe it’s a way of not taking full responsibility for your life. At least if you use obligation as an excuse, you can be the victim and let things be. It may be the easy route, but ultimately, it’s not serving you to live like this.

And remember, it is a choice. You always have a choice, even if the alternatives may not always look the best.

So, where are you not living authentically? What are you sacrificing in your life due to a belief of obligation? Feel free to share a comment below.

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