How to recognize and protect yourself from toxic relationships

Many of my clients have experienced living with or being in close relation to people who drain their energy. It can be a parent, a spouse or a friend. An energy vampire is someone who energetically get their energy from you. They will literally energetically connect to you and through etheric energy cords they will draw energy out of you as if they are drinking from a straw.

If you are an empath, chances are you’ve experienced these people because they love to leach onto your energy. This is something they do mostly unconsciously.

The level of how much you are being drained will depend on how often you see them, what kind of relationship you have with them, how bad their behavior is and how you are able to set boundaries to protect yourself.

You could be dealing with a person who likes to blame other people and living in a victim mentality, an emotionally abusive person or a person with narcissistic tendencies.

The key to these relationships is that the way they do what they do is very insidious and often not obvious to the person affected. So you may just feel like your energy is zapped after talking with them or spending time with them. Depending on how much this person is draining your energy, over time you may start to lose confidence in yourself and think something is wrong with you.

If this person is close to you, it is important to understand what’s going on and protect yourself or you will be in a constant emotional battle.

Emotional abuse can be just as damaging if not more on your psyche as physical abuse, but it’s a lot harder to discern because of the methods these people use – which are not obvious to the naked eye.

Here are some tactics an energy vampire might use to manipulate you. Keep in mind, they often may not even be consciously aware of what they are doing but that doesn’t excuse the behavior.

  • Blame others for why their life is not working. Instead of looking inward to see why they are creating certain things in their life, they are instead looking for someone to blame and they are acting like they are a victims of circumstances.
  • Not honoring your boundaries but consistently overstepping them despite your efforts to tell them not to.
  • Telling you one thing but showing something else with their behavior. For example, saying they love you but acting in ways that are not loving but hurtful and confusing.
  • Using guilt and shame to control your behavior – so in other words, if they don’t get their way, they will personally attack you to make you feel guilty or shameful about who you are or what you are doing.
  • Act as if it’s their right to control you and as if you’re incapable of taking care of yourself so they need to do it for you.
  • Projecting their own insecurities onto you. People who act like this usually feel small inside and the way they feel powerful is to belittle and demean other people. For example, if they feel unworthy themselves, they will say and do things that make you question your worthiness.
  • Crazy-making: They may turn situations around to make it look like you are the crazy one, even though in truth they are the ones who are acting “crazy”. This crazy making can often confuse you so much that you don’t even know what’s going on and you start thinking there’s something wrong with you. This can show up as lying about something that happened and making you crazy for believing it happened, even though you know it did. Or they may explain a situation very differently from the truth and project you in a bad light as a result, acting as if this is actually how it happened, when everything inside of you knows it’s not the case. This can mess with your mind and make you feel crazy.
  • Showing periods of closeness and being kind to you, only to turn on you when you least expect it and use anything you said while you were getting along against you.
  • Often, when they are in a good mood, they are very charming and likable people and nobody could suspect that they may act this way toward you, because they usually pick their target to suck energy from. This will also make you feel confused, because if you talk to other people who knows the person, they won’t understand what you are talking about because that person has likely not acted that way towards them. This contributes to even more confusion on your part.
  • Make lies to cover up their bad behaviors and not taking full responsibility for their actions.
  • Act in mean ways to you one moment and act like nothing ever happened the next. Often, if you are dealing with a person with narcissistic personality traits, they will not apologize and they truly don’t care about how you feel, even if they make you think they do.  All they are after is having power over you, because they feel so powerless themselves that they have to steal yours.

If you are dealing with people who are acting in these ways and you feel frustrated and confused, it’s important to understand that there’s nothing wrong with you. The best thing for you to do is to enforce your boundaries, and if they are not met, to start cutting them out of your life if they don’t stop. Read this article to learn how to stop toxic relationships from ruining your business.

Often, people with these disturbances will not stop despite the fact that they may tell you they will. If you’ve gone through cycles over and over again of the person promising they will change and nothing happens, you are probably best off re-evaluating if you want to be having a relationship with them. Being in such relationships can be extremely emotionally damaging and cause long term negative consequences in your life if you don’t deal with them.

If you’re currently in a relationship like this and you feel you need help, feel free to apply for a complimentary call with me here. 

What’s your experience been with dealing with these kinds of people? Feel free to leave a comment below.

About Vibeke

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I believe that the foundation for wealth is inner peace and that success should never sacrifice your health and well being.

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Vibeke's Bio

Vibeke's Bio

I’m Vibeke Schurch, the founder of Success-soul Living® and The 5D Business Model®.

I work with coaches, healers and change-makers to help them grow their business and live life on purpose so they can use their unique gifts to make a difference in the world while creating a lifestyle aligned with their soul blueprint.

Ever since my spiritual awakening many years ago when I healed myself from “chronic” illness in just two weeks, it’s my mission to help you wake up to your inner power and potential. I want to show you how to use your mind to manifest your wildest dreams and create your own heaven on earth while living life on purpose, and serving the people you are here to serve.

In my 20 years as a small business owner, one thing is crystal clear to me: What helps you thrive is not your not your intelligence, level of experience or skill-set, but the programming in your subconscious mind. You can be programmed for struggle and lack, or flow and abundance. In my work, I help you reprogram your mind for success and abundance so you can create a prosperous and fulfilling life living your life’s calling and doing the work you came here to do.