How to protect your precious dreams when they want to stop you from living your truth

Want to step into living your dream? I feel called to write this post because this week I have spoken to so many people who are in the process of stepping into living their dream who have one thing in common: Their friends or close family members don’t understand them. They don’t understand why they want to do what they want to do and most importantly: They don’t support them in living their dreams or even ridicule them for thinking they even could.

I know this is such a common problem it may be so common that I’ve even forgotten to write about it. I’ve certainly gone through this myself as well and I know how heart-wrenching it is when people close to you try to discourage you from doing what you know deep inside you HAVE TO DO and put in all of their efforts to stop you or sabotage you in moving forward.

First of all I want to say this: When you want to change, it’s natural that people close to you get a little worried. They wonder how that will change their relationship with you. For example, if you’re in a romantic relationship with someone and only one person wants to work on themselves and grow, the person who is not willing to grow will often do what he/she can to pull the other one back. They are afraid of losing you. They don’t want you to grow apart from them.

Then at the same time, you’re in this vulnerable place of wanting to make changes in your life to live more in alignment with your truth and your purpose, and that’s scary to you as well. It likely means stepping out of the world you know and step into a new reality. That can be scary. Even though you know deep inside you need to make these changes and that the direction you’re going in is the right direction, you may still doubt yourself and wonder how you’re going to accomplish what you’ve set out to do. You’re vulnerable.

So when you go to someone close to confide in them that you want to start your own business or whatever it is you’re wanting to do, and they either tell you why you can’t do it, or give you a blank stare, it hurts. You’ve just been mustering enough courage to tell them, hoping that they will be as excited about this as you are, but then it backfires.

You start doubting yourself. Can I really do this? What if they are right when they tell me I can’t do this?

I like to think of your dreams as a precious seed. It needs the right environment in order to grow into a flower. If the seed doesn’t get planted in the soil and doesn’t get sunshine and water, it will stay a seed forever. It will never reach it’s potential of becoming a flower. On that token, I often advise people to be really discerning about who they share their deepest dreams with, because not everyone is able to appreciate what you want to do and not everyone is capable of supporting you and creating the environment necessary for the seed to grow into a flower – or your dreams to be born.

Some may want to talk you out of it because they are jealous and would have liked to do the same for themselves, but decided long ago they couldn’t because [insert some kind of limiting belief here.]

Some may want to protect you, but in a way that is not helpful to you because they are coming from a place of fear rather than truth. (Of course to them it is their truth, but it’s not based on higher truths but on fear and limitations.)

I recently told someone not to go to the hardware store for milk. Why would you go to someone who has no idea about what you want to do to ask for advice? Wouldn’t it be better to speak with someone who is actually doing what you’re trying to do? They may actually know a little bit about it.

Most people in this world live in a world of fear and limitations. And they will argue for those limitations until the sun goes down, if you let them. It’s what they have been programmed to believe in. If they are your parents, they will have grown up in a different time, when things were different and the opportunities that exist today were not as abundant as today.

They don’t know there is a whole other world out there of people who work from home in their yoga pants or PJ’s making more than a corporate executive. That there are so many opportunities to make money today that they don’t even have any clue about. So, it’s natural that they will try to advise you to be “smart” based on their own limitations, fears and lack of knowledge.

The world is changing and people are re-molding what it means to live and work on their own terms. They know in their heart that there is a better way and they are determined to live it. And so many do.

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But sadly enough, this week alone I heard:

My mom told me: “You know that you’ll never be able to do this, right?”

“I spoke with my mom and told her to please not judge me. Then, when I told her about what I wanted to do I just saw her blank stare; I felt so bad afterwards.”

Now, if we were talking about a parent and a child, it would be a little different. We’re talking about adults. But it doesn’t need to be a parent, it can be a friend, a partner or a colleague. Anyone really.

Because you’re in such a vulnerable state when you’re first beginning to make changes in your life to live your dream, the smallest negative comment can feel crushing to you. You start doubting yourself. All of your limiting beliefs just got more fuel.

You’ve been working on overcoming these beliefs yourself and now you just got another dose of them thrown at you when you were hoping for support. Auch!

So what do you do then? I’d say use some discernment. You know who the naysayers are in your life. Steer clear of them until you have more of a handle on your situation and know that you’ve got this. Seek out a mentor to help you who has done what you want to do and who can actually support you and give you valid advice and guidance.

Here’s the deal. It may seem obvious but I don’t think it is. You are an adult. You get to choose who you share certain things about your life with. Nobody has the right to know everything about you. You get to decide how much or little you share. Sure, if we’re talking about a couple and you’ve always made choices together, you might want to honor that, but this is truly about you.

It’s about YOUR purpose which only you can live. Nobody else can hear and feel that purpose like you can. Nobody can understand the pull inside of you to do this. It’s yours alone to realize and carry through. Nobody else can live your life for you or tell you what’s right for you. Only you will know.

I know from personal experience that ignoring your purpose will eventually knock you down to the point that you cannot ignore the calling any longer. It will get you sick, depressed or something else will happen to you to get your attention on the fact that things as they are are not working. I had to get knocked to the ground before I woke up.

There is a big cost to not following your calling, dream, purpose, whatever you want to call it. Very few people are talking about this cost. It’s your own well being, your health, both mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.

If your partner or spouse is not willing to allow you to follow your truth, then you need to ask yourself if this is the right relationship for you. If you can’t live your truth in this relationship is it serving you?

Will they likely try to talk you out of it? Maybe? If they want what’s right for you, they will support you. If they love you unconditionally, they will support you even if they may not agree with you. But they will support you nonetheless because they understand this is what would make you happy and they want you to be happy.

If you are an adult and your parents are still trying to control you and your choices while you’re an adult, you might ask yourself why you are still letting your parents run your life. Some parents seem to think they can insert themselves into situations that are not theirs to own. And some adult children don’t know how to set healthy boundaries with their parents to stop them from doing that.

I’ve had clients who are in their forties and their biggest obstacle in growing their business was their mom who would bring them down every week when they spoke on the phone! She would spend days to build herself up every time she had spoken to her mom…only to speak with her again a few days later and feel completely crushed again. It was a complete roller coaster and she finally decided she had to stop talking to her mom (who by the way was emotionally abusive to her, something my client didn’t have conscious awareness of because it was so insidious.)

If you’re an adult and you let your parents control your choices, you likely won’t just grow out of it. You need to make a conscious choice to live your own life and not live a life based on your parents limiting beliefs and fears – or even control, or anyone else for that matter. Remember, people want to control people because they are scared. Controlling other people help them reduce their own fears. A person who is coming from love (the opposite of fear) will not want to control you.

As an adult nobody really has the right to control you. I know the government thinks it does, and yes there are rules we need to follow in order to live in an orderly society, but aside from that, as long as you’re not causing anyone any harm, nobody has the right to control your life and your choices. If you let them, it’s because you’re giving your power away.

You are the one who will live the consequences of your actions, not them!

Who are you giving your power away to? Know that once you give a part of your power away, there’s less left for you. If you keep giving your power away, eventually you become powerless!

While it’s your job to stay in your power, other people’s behavior is theirs to own. I think it’s important to tie this into emotional abuse, because that’s often what happens. Because people are not educated enough around emotional abuse, they don’t know how to spot it, and they don’t even realize it when it’s going on. They just feel bad.

Emotional abuse can be just as damaging on your psyche and self-esteem as physical abuse. The difference is you have been trained to know if someone hits you, it’s abuse, but where does mental and verbal control and manipulation become abuse? The lines are more blurred.

If you wonder if you’re in a relationship with someone who is being mentally, verbally or emotionally abusive towards you, you might want to also read this article: How to recognize and protect yourself from toxic relationships, and  How to stop toxic relationships from ruining your business. 

Let’s just say that anyone who is trying to control your actions to benefit themselves are being manipulative and are putting their well being before yours. You are the only one who knows what’s right for you, not any other person. You have been equipped with your emotions and your intuition for a reason. It’s so you can navigate this thing called life and not get lost. When someone is trying to get you to go in a direction that feels wrong for you but benefits them, we’re talking about manipulation. As much as they may say they have your best interest at heart, they really don’t!

Those people don’t want what’s best for you, they want what’s best for them. And for those people who are giving “well meaning advice”, it’s often based on fear, not higher truth.

The higher truth is you cannot have a desire in your heart without also at the same time having the means to fulfill that desire at the same time. Your heart tells you to do it because you are meant to do it. It’s what’s right for you. You are capable of doing it or you would not be guided to do it. That’s the spiritual truth. In the long run, it’s a lot “riskier” for you not to do it than to do it.

So, next time you’re ready to spill your most precious dreams in somebody’s lap, think first: Will it be in my best interest to share this with this person? Will this person be capable of emotionally supporting me? If the answer is no to either, you may be better off keeping it to yourself.

Guard your precious seed with the respect it deserves so it has a chance to become a flower. And don’t go to the hardware store for milk. You’re likely to be disappointed and not find what you’re looking for.

Want some support getting your dream off the ground and into the air? I invite you to schedule a call with me to see how I can help you and if we would be a fit for working together. Just click here to apply for a free call with me. 

4 Comments

  1. Ijeoma on July 14, 2018 at 8:22 pm

    This is quite inspiring. Giving that gentle push. I loved the part of dreams being a seed which you need to give the right environment ti blossom



    • Vibeke on July 15, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      Glad you like it. It’s such a vital part of being able to live your potential 🙂



  2. Danielle Grace on July 27, 2018 at 9:19 pm

    Another great post! You and I are in very similar wavelengths and complementary life paths.

    I”m in my 40’s and this has been a challenge for me with my family. We’re all very close and I have 3 older siblings, but I’ve always felt a little bit like an “outsider” with a different path to follow. And this makes it hard for them to relate to and understand me when it comes to my life path, since it’s not the traditional old way of doing things.

    So I had to learn to to not share my dreams and interests with them, like you mentioned. And I think the fact that we’re close makes it all the more challenging to not be able to share things I’m excited about, but I’ve come to realize my purpose is more important than any need to share those things right now.

    I also appreciated your bit about the government. 👍

    Thank you again for the article.

    Danielle Grace



    • Vibeke on July 28, 2018 at 4:18 am

      Hi Danielle, so glad you liked it! Sounds like you’ve figured out how to navigate these challenges 🙂 Wishing you all the best with your endeavors.



About Vibeke

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I believe that the foundation for wealth is inner peace and that success should never sacrifice your health and well being.

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4 Comments

  1. Ijeoma on July 14, 2018 at 8:22 pm

    This is quite inspiring. Giving that gentle push. I loved the part of dreams being a seed which you need to give the right environment ti blossom



    • Vibeke on July 15, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      Glad you like it. It’s such a vital part of being able to live your potential 🙂



  2. Danielle Grace on July 27, 2018 at 9:19 pm

    Another great post! You and I are in very similar wavelengths and complementary life paths.

    I”m in my 40’s and this has been a challenge for me with my family. We’re all very close and I have 3 older siblings, but I’ve always felt a little bit like an “outsider” with a different path to follow. And this makes it hard for them to relate to and understand me when it comes to my life path, since it’s not the traditional old way of doing things.

    So I had to learn to to not share my dreams and interests with them, like you mentioned. And I think the fact that we’re close makes it all the more challenging to not be able to share things I’m excited about, but I’ve come to realize my purpose is more important than any need to share those things right now.

    I also appreciated your bit about the government. 👍

    Thank you again for the article.

    Danielle Grace



    • Vibeke on July 28, 2018 at 4:18 am

      Hi Danielle, so glad you liked it! Sounds like you’ve figured out how to navigate these challenges 🙂 Wishing you all the best with your endeavors.



Vibeke's Bio

Vibeke's Bio

I’m Vibeke Schurch, the founder of Success-soul Living® and The 5D Business Model®.

I work with coaches, healers and change-makers to help them grow their business and live life on purpose so they can use their unique gifts to make a difference in the world while creating a lifestyle aligned with their soul blueprint.

Ever since my spiritual awakening many years ago when I healed myself from “chronic” illness in just two weeks, it’s my mission to help you wake up to your inner power and potential. I want to show you how to use your mind to manifest your wildest dreams and create your own heaven on earth while living life on purpose, and serving the people you are here to serve.

In my 20 years as a small business owner, one thing is crystal clear to me: What helps you thrive is not your not your intelligence, level of experience or skill-set, but the programming in your subconscious mind. You can be programmed for struggle and lack, or flow and abundance. In my work, I help you reprogram your mind for success and abundance so you can create a prosperous and fulfilling life living your life’s calling and doing the work you came here to do.